Catch-up

 Hello,

I’m still here, alive and kicking. Five years older but not a lot has changed. A quick catch up from where I left off last:

- Got married (highlight: the foood! and gold plates (not real gold ofc))

- Moved to California. Our first apartment was in a hilly neighborhood. I moved on Friday night and hadn’t seen much of the landscape. Next morning I was breath taken seeing the green hills around us. The thought of a new life together with my partner in a new city etc was wonderful. I might write a separate post on just that weekend. It was magical!

- Started to love hiking. Our first year of marriage was pretty much just hiking and cooking good food.

- Survived a pandemic 

- Dessert obsession. I made a new dessert pretty much every week during the pandemic.

- Changed jobs.

- Started developing an interest in birding (one more item checked off on the ‘signs you’re an introvert’ checklist)

- Visited Alaska (twice!)

- Dyed my hair - ombre Pink to Orange

- Bought a house. Year 2 of marriage was all about interviews and open houses *facepalm* how quickly responsibilities add on

- Year 3 was my DIY era. Became a painter, carpenter, plumber and artist. Fell through the ceiling once, fortunately didn’t break any bones but learnt some lessons

- Tee passed away. RIP. You’ll forever be in our hearts.

- Saw lions, cheetahs, giraffes and zebras in Africa. Tigers in Kabini and bears in Montana. Montana became my new favorite state in USA. Seeing the green landscape the first morning we drove into Yellowstone, knowing how much wildlife lived there was a core memory.

- Started taking Piano lessons. Waltz in A minor is my personal favorite now.

- Had some other losses which I may (or may not) talk about someday

- Paddle boarded in the turquoise blue waters of Maldives

- Kitty came into our lives.

I’ve been too lazy to post here. But seeing how fun it is for me to read old posts, I want to continue posting whenever I feel like it. 

Bye!

Finding true love 💕 (T -4 months)

Hello future me,
I'm writing here after almost a year, but I have major news today. I'm getting married in 4 months from today! Thought I'd write a little about how it came about - just so that it might be fun to read someday long into the future. Here it goes:
Dec 2017:
I had moved to Austin around the end of Sept 2018. I was thoroughly enjoying being an independent earning member of the society. I had for the first time in my life, my own mode of transport, had the freedom to wake up whenever, cook whatever pleased me and in general take control of my own life. It was at this point that I received a proposal from one of my mom's colleagues' relatives. I was fully closed to the idea of marriage and viewed it as a kind of slavery that people willingly signed up for. I had 4 friends from university who worked with me and lived close by. We used to hangout most of the time together. One member of this group got married in December. He was significantly older than me and I didn't think much of it. However, a lot of my undergrad friends also started getting married and I started to think about how my life might change if I did decide to get married.
Feb 2018:
By Feb I had started seeing more and more people my age getting married and I started to seriously think about what kinds of people I saw myself with, where I wanted my life to go, what I could and could not tolerate in a SO. I agreed to let my parents register my profile with a matrimonial bureau. I got the first set of profiles of prospective grooms. Most were ~5 years older than me and much taller. I felt intimidated by it and couldn't imagine even befriending any of them. Again started having very negative thoughts about marriage. Another friend in my 4 people group got engaged.
Apr 2018:
Wedding related stuff went onto the backburner. Every set of profiles that my parents got I had new reasons to say no. I was closed off to even talking to any of the ones that seemed like good matches. Had long conversations with my sister on how she decided, etc. But I was still confused.
June 2018:
By this time, I had spoken to 3-4 people and had found one guy who seemed to be of a similar nature as me. We had similar interests but very different long term goals. We ignored this difference hoping it would somehow get resolved and continued talking. We met briefly and started to consider seriously on how we could make it work.
Aug 2018:
The offer fell through. We were not able to resolve differences in our long term goals. The guy's parents were not very much in favour of it and we decided to move on. This is the closest I've come to a heartbreak. I took some time completely off the wedding scene. Poured myself into work. It was at this point that the last of my friends in the 4 person group also got into a relationship. We stopped hanging out often as they got busy with their SOs.
Oct 2018:
Still wasn't completely over the June guy. Spoke to a few people, but not very seriously. I had some reason to say why it wouldn't work out.
Dec 2018:
This was when I got introduced to this guy I'll refer to as PMJ from now on. We spoke on and off over text and over the phone. He seemed like someone who was full of life. He seemed open minded and "woke". This was something I kept looking for but hadn't found in most people I spoke with. However, there seemed to be some differences in mine and his personalities. I'm more of a calm natured person when I found him to be more fiery. However, our long term goals seemed to match and I was always left with a pleasant feeling after talking to him. After all the no's I'd been going through for almost a year, I wasn't sure enough to decide whether he was THE one. We kept talking and decided to meet in person.
Feb 2019:
We met in person and spent hours just talking. I didn't realise how time passed and felt very positive about him. He seemed to be self-assured while not being proud. This is a very thin line and I'd been judging everyone very harshly on this criterion. He seemed just perfect with respect to this aspect. A few weeks later, both of us gave our acceptances. My parents had spoken to his parents and they gave a waving green flag as well. It was at this stage that there was talk of a March wedding. The one major change was that I'd have to move half way across the country. This was too big of a change for me and I couldn't take that leap. I deferred talks of a marriage until May/June. He agreed to it and left for a trip to India. I thought it was all done and it was just a matter of him coming back and resuming talks. However, he started to have second doubts about the long term goals that we had decided on and how it would impact him.
Apr 2019:
PMJ returned and we were off for sometime. He needed time to think and I got scared. From imagining myself being married to not talking to that person was a huge transition. I started worrying on what would have happened if I had indeed agreed to a March wedding and he had second guessed his decision later. Went back to being sour and negative about everything related to marriages.
June 2019:
At this point all 3 of my friends were married and I started to feel the need to find a partner. Sometime in May, PMJ had gotten back to me and had given his green signal for the wedding. This time it was my turn to take forever to decide what I wanted to do with my life. My parents visited me and I was busy entertaining them, taking trips etc. Every other conversation revolved around getting married, finding the right person etc. I somehow started to feel PMJ was the right one considering all factors. Fate also seemed to be pushing me towards him. However, I was too occupied with family gathering and did not want to decide it then. I never thought I'd be deciding when I did. Just a week before my parents were to leave back to India, I went to my sister's place for a week. During the bus journey,dove deep into my thoughts and was able to see things clearly. It was at that minute somehow I had absolute clarity on what I wanted in life.  Nothing else made more sense at that point and I wasn't scared any longer. He had said yes, I had really liked his parents, he seemed to be exposed to 2019 type of free thinking and was ok with it. He seemed mature enough to be able to take well thought of decisions; someone whose opinions I felt were well thought through and at the same time someone who was fun loving and interested in experiencing new things in life. That weekend I let my parents and family know of my decision and I told PMJ of the same. I was a little anxious if he had moved on. But it was in both our fates to end up together. He agreed! We had a conversation after a loong time. And that was it!

Off late its been more of wedding prep and getting to know each other's lifestyle habits etc.
This post has been suuper long. I'll be checking in from time to time with details on wedding prep and other interesting stuff. But for now, this is where I end this post.

Hoping my future self reading this is happy and still with PMJ! ;)

Until next time,
Shaya :D

New Year Resolutions

Hello Everyone,
Happy New Year 2018! I'm sure no one reads this any longer. So hi future me :D
2018 is here! Started this blog 3 years back. Wow! So much has changed since then. I was writing my undergrad exams when I started this blog. Since then, I've completed 2 degrees, gotten a job, moved to a new country and started living by myself in a new city.
I don't usually think a lot about new year resolutions; but I do like to make a list. So here goes -
1. Do yoga for 40 minutes everyday (started today! )
2. Make at least 3 new friends at work
3. Cook twice a week
4. Become more self assured - work on being more confident
5. Plan a surprise vacation for my parents
6. Think about marriage - probably in 2019 - so, talk to people, think about deal breakers etc
7. Get a good work scheduled figured out - now I work through the evening till late in the night while watching random youtube videos - end up sitting in front of the comp the whole day. Hopefully will split up work and free time later in the year.
8. Keep in touch with friends. Till now I would meet friends everyday in college - but now unless I make a conscious effort, I won't have any friends left. (Already feel it) Hope to do a better job planning activities, meeting friends and making new ones too!

These are all the things I can think of right now.
Bye!
- Shaya :D

Lost in the city

Hi All,
This is an actual dream (nightmare) that I had. It was so much like a movie, I thought I should write it somewhere. Here it goes:
I had got a job in Mumbai (a city I've never been to before). I arrive at a hotel where I was being put up before I start my job. The hotel doesn't look very impressive. I meet someone from the company at the hotel. I ask him about my role, what I'd be working on etc. and all he says is that the work is top secret and I'd get to know more once I started work. Then I get some cryptic text which looked like some task that I was being assigned. (I had to wake someone up staying at the same hotel). I'm very unsure about the task as it makes no sense. I go to the room mentioned in the message; the door is half open but I don't open it as I'm not sure about the task and if I understood the message correctly.
A little while later I meet a group of people all about my age who were also joining the same company as me. They all seem to know each other but I don't know any of them. They don't seem very clever (like people who might be hired for a top secret mission). I start having doubts about the company. They decide to go out for a movie and I say that I'd like to join them. We all go down to the lobby and then I remember that I'd forgotten my purse in my room. I don't ask them to wait as I feel that I don't know any of them well enough. I run upstairs hoping to come back before they proceed a long way. While running up I realise that I have just 100 rupees and a little spare change. A movie would cost about 100 rupees. Would it be worth spending all of my money on a movie? My card wouldn't work. Anyway, I decide to risk it and go for the movie hoping that sticking to this group might help me figure out something about this crazy situation.
By the time I come out, I don't see anyone from the group. I decide to get to the central bus station (hoping that they might have headed there). Another girl who was standing nearby comes and asks me if I needed help. I ask her the directions and she says that she was headed the same way. I start walking with her and she starts asking a lot of questions about where I studied, what I studied etc. I start getting suspicious about her and start asking her questions about her past. She gives me vague answers. I notice two huge thugs walking behind us. I panic a little and decide that I should return to the hotel, gather my belongings and quietly get away from that place. I walk with the girl back to the hotel but as soon as we reach I realise that I was being chased and I try to merge into the crowd. I loose my purse (with my phone and the little money I had). In a panic I somehow make my way to a bus stop. I see a friend (more of an acquaintance) on a bus. I jump onto the bus. I explain to her that I had lost all my belongings, my phone, money and was being chased by people who wanted to kill me. in my mind I'd figured out that they had hired me to steal my identity. The company would take my identity, use it to get a job for someone else (someone from the group I had met before) and then remove all traces of my existence (maybe kill me I thought)! My friend agrees to help. But she doesn't seem to understand the gravity of the situation. She was on the bus trying to run away from home for a day to skip a test that she had to take the next day.
I was in that state of panic when I woke up. Was I glad to see my own room and my phone just next to me! Phew!
That was the story of my nightmare. I think I've been watching a lot of movies lately. Also, maybe it is the uncertainty about what the future holds. In all, it made for an interesting story to tell (knowing it was just a dream! Otherwise it would have been truly scary!)
Bye! :D
- Shaya

Aftermath of watching The Journey to AT2UI

Hi All,
I finally watched Superwoman's A Trip to Unicorn Island and it was AMAZINGGG!!!! Lilly is SUCH an amazingly awesome person! I am not the kind of person that gets involved in a movie. I tend to overanalyze each scene, think about what could be going on in the actor's mind, think of what the director might have thought they were trying to convey in the scene etc. But I was completely involved in this. Yes, this isn't a story based movie, it is a real life documentary and this is possibly the reason why I was so involved in it; but still, Lilly's personality is what makes the movie so awesome.
Through the movie she goes through a LOT of harships - she says multiple times that she feels lonely and stressed that she has to bear the whole show/trip's responsibility all on her own; but seeing how people react to her makes it all worth it. This is something that I felt was completely true. It makes me want to do something with so much passion that I'm willing to take on any obstacles that may come in my way. It is so important to have a dream a goal in life.
I've thought about this many times in the past. What is my goal in  life? What is that burning desire that I want to fulfil before I die? I've always loved coding and so I thought I'd make a career in it by doing a degree in Computer Science and aiming to work in the field. I thought my aim or goal was to work as a coder. But this isn't a strong enough goal. Every time I need to study or finish a project, I don't get inspired or motivated to finish it by thinking about my future job at a Tech company. Is it that I have a lame goal?
While watching the movie I realized that making Youtube videos wasn't Lilly's goal. Making people happy was. YouTube was a mere channel for her to achieve that goal. Similarly, what makes me happy is seeing the end result of a project that I'm working on. Building on an idea that I have in my mind and bringing it into a form that others can see and use. Maybe that's what drives people to start their own startups. All success stories involve people having a strong goal in mind and plowing their way to achieve it. Of course, to achieve something great you need to take a risk; sometimes it pays off and other times it doesn't. But, is there no other way to find that kind of happiness? Can you work in a regular 9-5 job and still get that kind of fulfilment in life? I'm not talking about having a hobby that you pursue after work that could bring you pleasure that your work lacks. What I am saying is, can a regular 9-5 job be satisfying? If you are working towards something - a specific well defined target, it is easier to motivate yourself to do that. For example, right now, I need to be studying for a stats exam I have next week, I need to work an a project due in 3 days and apply for jobs.
If I study well and and a good grade on my stats exam, me and my family will be happy - this is my motivation. Is this strong enough to motivate me to actually do it? Sadly not; I've written so many exams in my life unitil now, I've kind of gotten used to the end result.
If I apply for new jobs - I may get an interview call which may (hopefully) result in me getting a job. Is this good enoguh? (It should be considering the fact that I need this job for a lot of very important (top secret) reasons) But, at the end of it, it won't be a job that I'll look forward to every morning.
This brings me back to my initial point. How do I get a job that I will look forward to every morning? Maybe there is a job like that! That could be my goal. To get a job that I will be excited to do each morning. Hm. Rambling on my blog helped me find my goal! Who knew!?
Although I've been having a lot of trouble finding myself A job, from today, I vow to find a job that will make me happy each day. This is a strong enough goal! I already feel energized and motivated! I need to study well, get good grades, apply for a LOT of jobs. It may not be the first job, or second, but finally I want to end up in a job I love and I will work towards it EVERY minute from now. Wow! This was a completely spontaneous post. I haven't posted here in a very long time and I don't think anyone reads thisblog any longer. But if you did, and you reached all the way here, Hey there! I've found my goal. Let me know how your goal-finding is going.
Until next time,
Bye! :D

Simple pleasures

Hello everybody,
Its been a long time since I last posted. I thought I'd write a positive happy post on little everyday things that make me (and I'm pretty sure you too) happy! Here goes:

1) Suddenly waking up from a deep sleep only to realize you have more that half an hour before your alarm goes off.

2) Waking up only to realize today is a holiday 

3) A bright sunny day

4) Fresh blossoms

5) Making the perfect cup of  tea/coffee with just the right proportion of everything.

6) When your hair looks good without you needing to spend 15 minutes on it.


7) Writing the last word on an exam. 

8) Hitting 'Submit' after finishing a long assignment.

9) Talking to a loved one.

10) Meeting an old friend.

11) A basket full of freshly washed clothes.

12) Getting into the shower after a long tiring day (especially in winter).

13) Hitting the bed after a productive day.

14) Being greeted by your over enthusiastic pet the minute you reach home after a long day.

15) Getting a seat on a crowded bus.

16) Three consecutive green signals.

17) Listening to an old favorite song.

18) Plans that work out.

19) When you think you're done with the last piece of chocolate cake only to realize that you still have one more piece left.

20) Receiving a complement

21) Hitting Shift+Del or rm -rf on a completed project folder. 

22) Build successful. 

23) When you fix a bug and your project works.

So these were twenty three random happy thoughts. I hope it made you smile. I'm sure there are innumerable such things. Do let me know things that make you happy! Also, if you are a fellow blogger, it would be cool if you do this as a tag post too!
Until next time,
Bye!:D

Life as an Adult (Part 2)

Hello everybody,
I posted the part 1 of this post a while back and had said that I'd be revisiting this topic. Here is what I've learnt about 'adulting' this year.
The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about growing up and becoming an adult is- Responsibilities. I never truly understood the meaning of responsibilities until now; I'm sure I still barely understand it. Responsibilities are really hard to keep up with and fulfill. There are so many responsibilities and you can't skip any of them. You need to play multiple roles; take care of your money, food, grades, health, relationships, taxes etc. Missing out on any one of these could land you in big trouble. Sometimes you may need to pay attention to all of your responsibilities at the same time. It isn't like school where they distribute work throughout the semester. Although during exams, it feels like you have too much work, it is manageable. But when you are an adult, sometimes, it is impossible to do everything that is to be done; you just have to give up on some things and face the consequences. It is like an unfair game where there is no way to win sometimes. You just take the penalty and continue doing your best. The worst part is there is no fixed duration. If you have a stressful period, but you see an  end to it, you can motivate yourself enough to push through it. But it isn't always that simple. Just after you finish one set of things, you'll have a whole bunch of other things waiting to be finished. You need to make a conscious effort to take a break and let your mind relax too. If you don't do that and overwork yourself, you will be the one to suffer its consequences later. This is what I've learnt about responsibilities now. You'll always have more responsibilities to handle than you can; you just have to prioritize. It will again be you who has to face the consequences of missing a few of your responsibilities. So you just need to decide what consequences you are willing to face and what you aren't.
The next biggest thing about becoming an adult is getting freedom. Freedom to take your own decisions. It isn't all that big a thing. Being given the freedom to take your own decisions comes with its own price. It implies that you are old enough to be trusted not to take foolish decisions. As a kid or a teen, doing what you wanted to do was freedom. Your parents did all the thinking part. You never had to think about the consequences of what you 'wanted' to do. The general idea we have as kids is that parents set constraints on us and when we become adults, those constraints will no longer be there. So we can do what we 'wanted'. Now I feel that this is a big misconception. We had it easier as kids. We could be assured that whatever our parents let us do could not harm us in anyway. Now it is up to us to set those limits. It doesn't mean you don't have constraints. It is only that you willingly set constraints for  yourself. This is actually harder because you need to decide what is good for you and what isn't. This takes a lot of trial and error and you could end up hurting yourself in the process. As a kid, if you really wanted something desperately, you could fight, argue with your parents. If it wasn't a ridiculous demand, there is a very good chance that your parents would've found a way to let you have it. As an adult, if you really want something, but can't make it happen, you just accept it and move on. Situations act as constraints; you won't have a person to direct your frustration towards. Also, as a kid if you weren't allowed to do something you really wanted to, and if you cooperated, you'd usually be rewarded for it. Now, it is just the expected behavior. You won't have anyone give you a pat on your back or feel sorry for you.
A 3 year old would jump on furniture without hesitation. A ten year old would be much more restrained. Not because the 10 year old thinks that jumping on the sofa isn't fun. It is only because the ten year old probably fell a few times doing it and knows the risks involved. It is just the same growing up. You do get freedom; freedom to set constraints for yourself.
Adult life is pretty tough and boring. I'm sure I'll get better at it as I gain experience and I'll start to find ways to have fun along the way. But for now, this is all that I have to say on this topic.
Do let me know your views and opinions on this topic in the disqus section. I'd love to know what you think!
Until next time,
Bye! :D