A few weeks back, on an office slack channel, someone posted started a post called rose 🌹 and thorns 🌵 - one good thing and a bad thing that happened in the past month. This felt like a good way to reflect on the past 6 months of my life. Why six months? - because that's how long I've been a mom for! (How time flies!)
September:
🌹 Meeting mini 🩷
🌹 Spending time with my parents
🌹 Seeing my husband become a dad
🌵 Waiting for the birth, anxiety around the whole process
🌵 C-section pain + extreme exhaustion
🌵 Trying to breastfeed/ pump (SO painful!) and constantly worrying about supply
🌵 Mini’s ultrasound appointment and her getting pricked for regular bloodwork
🌹 Getting to use all the baby stuff I had got ready for months - seeing all the plans come into action. (Dresser organization was spot on - it still is quite organized)
🌹 No office work!
🌹 Taking baby in the stroller that I had spent months researching
🌵 Having to plan feeds every time we step out
🌵 Endless washing of bottles, pump parts
🌵 Having to wake up twice at night to pump/ having to walk into the cold house and wash parts in cold water. Brr!
🌹 Her trying to catch the bottle
🌹 Her burping face
🌹 Seeing my parents interact with mini
🌹 Not having a huge belly. My belly button not being stretched out
🌹 Walks in the park
🌹 Getting to watch Les mis with my mom
October:
🌹 Starting monthly birthday celebration. Still one of my favorite things to do! Coming up with a theme for photoshoot + dessert
🌹 Discovered “swerve” sugar free sugar that tastes really good! Excited to make a bunch of desserts that my mom and dad can eat guilt free
🌹 Being able to drive again and go to any store on a weekday (since I am on maternity leave)
🌵 Needing someone to sit in the car with baby anytime we need to step into a store
🌵 Tied to 1 hour outings between meal times
🌹 Being able to nurse a lot more - seeing her feel full is the bestest feeling.
🌵 Unending cycle of pumping, washing, sanitizing, feeding, changing diapers and doing laundry
🌹 Having a little more energy
🌵 Pulled stitches once trying to reach up. Bled a little. Got super scared and worried about how much I’d be limited in future
🌹 Grandparents excitedly welcoming her every morning into a warm sun drenched living room
🌹 Picking out her outfit and swaddle for the day each morning
🌹 Cute baby yawns
🌹 Outing to Filoli and Ardenwood farms
🌹 Put up lights outside the house for Diwali/ Christmas/ New year
🌵 Feeling helpless when she starts crying while out and worrying about racing back home in time before her next feed
🌵 First diaper blowout in the wild 😜
🌵 The rush to warm up a bottle when she’s hungry
🌵 Constantly wondering if she got enough milk or not
🌹 Having a tiny human swaddled up sleeping between us
🌹 waking up to see her little face fast asleep
🌹The cutest brightest eyes looking at you
November:
🌹 Fully off formula!
🌹 Mini smiles looking at our faces 🥰
🌹 2 month vaccinations done = cleared to go into stores/ restaurants (ofc when less crowded)!
🌹 Hosted a thanksmas dinner, made lots of good food and hosted a bunch of folks waiting to see baby
🌹 Mom & dad bought us a fancy set of cutlery
🌹 Beautiful table scape that lasted for over a month
🌹 First road trip with baby to Carmel-by-the-sea
🌹 Now a pro at feeding baby whenever, wherever
🌹 Finally feel confident that she is getting fed enough - no more second guessing if she wants more formula, measuring ounces, helplessly trying to figure out why she is crying
🌹 The most satisfying feeling of being able to fully calm a crying baby, seeing her feeling content and happy in my arms after her feed
🌹 Grateful each day for having the most easy going baby ever! (Especially during the road trip to Carmel)
🌹 Seeing my parents enjoy little outings (not much this time due to baby; but even the little ones seem more exciting with little one)
🌵 Husband back at work + busy even after work
🌵 Rocking her to sleep breaks my back each time
🌹 But so worth it seeing her sleep in my arms
🌵 Lots of body aches + feel fragile
🌵 Middle of the night feeds
December:
🌹 Mini starting to perceive her surrounding more. Started to giggle and that was the best feeling ever
🌹 My sister and family visited us! (Had been eagerly waiting for this for months)
🌵 Returned to work
🌹 Trip to Yosemite with the full fam - this was a trip that felt nostalgic even as it happened.
🌹 Christmas dinner - The whole family sat at the table in our airbnb and had a proper (nut roast, mashed potatoes and dessert)
🌵 Rainstorm at Yosemite that kept me agitated for weeks
🌹 Seeing mini and her cousins in matching pajamas
🌵 Felt sad to say bye to sis and family
🌵 Baby caught a little cold - sad to see her struggle with phlegm
🌵 Impending gloom about having to resume work in full swing
🌵 Feeling sad that my parents visit was nearing to an end
January:
🌵🌵 Parents left. They had been with us since baby was born - the sudden emptiness, the anxiety around us being wholly responsible now for baby was all too much
🌹 Husband started paternity leave
🌹 Slowly adjusting to a new normal - a family of 3 and a little furball
🌵 The amount of work just felt overwhelming. An impossible puzzle to solve. I kept working through feeds, bad posture, body ache, working after hours. Each day done felt like a day conquered.
🌹 Somedays feel like I'm a supermom when I manage work decently and keep a little baby alive and happy
🌵 Tons of house repairs propping up - mold remediation for our master bath, bathroom reno, roof replacement
February:
🌵 One of the hardest months till date in my life
🌵 Just scraping by at work. Newer teammates are doing so much - proactive work, going above and beyond when I'm struggling to just finish tasks assigned to me
🌹 Claude! Lifesaver - I've forgotten now how to code. Worried this has come for our jobs - but at least for now, it is helping me finish tasks
🌵 Big fight with husband as both of us are overworked and at wits end
🌵 Mom guilt over not being able to engage enough with baby, provide proper mental stimulation
🌹 Visiting home improvement stores for the upcoming reno
🌵 No time to research enough and just going with whatever is easy for the reno
🌵 Expenses seem endless
🌵 Constant worry about job security with all the AI advancements + inability to focus at work
🌹 The one glimmer through all of this is little mini - one look at her little face and all my worries seem far away
🌹 Lots of adorable baby giggles - she is a pro at flipping over both ways now (started sometime in Jan)
🌹🌹 She wants me - specifically - this is the best feeling in the world
🌵 House is a terrible mess - plastic sheet walls everywhere to protect from the construction dust, fully cramped sleep situation, tiptoeing everywhere around the house
🌵 Mini now sleeps in a crib (due to us having to sleep on single beds) - so everytime she cries at night need to get out of bed, bring her to feed then put her back (hoping she'll fall back asleep) - some days this takes a huge toll on my sleep
🌵 Still have a lot of body pains
🌹 Getting to play with baby - any amount of time - just fixed my day
🌹 Cuddly stage - no longer the tiny fragile baby who's head needed support. Can carry her upright and she is totally squishable
Tomorrow is her six month birthday! I'm planning to make a lemon chiffon cake, topped with whipped cream and decorated with rainbow color fruits. Planning to make it a rainbow theme. Absolutely exhausted and have an impossible amount of work left (need to put back stuff in pantry, finish building closet shelves, take a shower, maybe catch up on some work, bake a cake, make frosting ugh - and its already 10pm - TBD what all I can accomplish)
Until next time,
Bye.
Shaya
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