Friends

Hello everybody,
I hope you're having a great day! This is kind of a continuation of my previous post. As I mentioned earlier, I recently got my visa and told my friends about me leaving for university abroad. The way some of them reacted, surprised me a little and got me thinking about friendships.
I had kept only three of my very close friends (I'll call them ABC for convenience) informed about my plans from the very beginning. A lot of people put you down if you plan/try to pursue something and fail. So, I thought it would be best to let others know only after things were clearer for me. Once I received my visa, I thought it was suitable to let others know about it. 
For the past 6 months I've been working as an intern and don't meet ABC on a regular basis. A few other friends from my college (I'll call them DEF (God! I need to come up with better names!)) are interning along with me. So for the past few months, I spend most of my time with DEF and have become quite close friends with them. Sometimes I wonder, if I had met them in my first year of college, would I have become best friends with them? They come from a similar background as me, they have a similar upbringing, values etc. However, on many occasions I've found them behaving in a petty/selfish manner. In such situations I wonder, are ABC better people than DEF or is it just the way ABC react to me vs how DEF react to me (considering I'm a newer friend to  DEF than ABC).
I'm writing about this now because I noticed a significant difference in the way ABC reacted to the news that I had got my visa and how DEF reacted to the same news. Our internship offer was such that if we performed well during the internship period, we'd be converted into permanent employees. I have been performing well and my manager offered to convert me. However, I declined the offer as I had plans of continuing my education. I didn't tell DEF about this as I hadn't told them about my plan to study itself. They thought I hadn't been offered a conversion and used to boast a little about their offers. I used to be tempted to tell them that I too had been offered a conversion but held back as I'd have to reveal my other plans then. Finally when it was my turn to tell them about my plans, I thought they'd be a little more supportive and happy for me. They did congratulate me, but it was quite apparent that they were unhappy about it. I told them about it two days back and I already notice the change in their behavior towards me. They've become a little distant and cold.
When I broke the news to ABC, they were genuinely happy and I could see that in their texts itself! Now I do think ABC are genuinely better people than DEF. I'm glad I got to meet ABC before I met DEF. ABC are friends because I like to be with them; DEF are more friends for convenience.
I know this post was really cryptic and personal, but I needed to tell someone about it and I figured, who better than you! I'm sorry if I bored you with little details of my life which may not make sense to you. But I hope atleast a few people can relate to what I'm talking about.
Until next time,
Bye! :D

10 tips to make the best use of college life

Now that I am in my final year of college, I have a few tips to share that could help you avoid the mistakes I or some of my friends made. Hope this helps!
1. Talk to people
 On my first day in college, I introduced myself to a complete stranger who sat next to me during orientation. It turned out, we had a lot of common interests. Till date she has remained my best friend! But, you probably will take a few weeks to find friends. So, don't take too long to say hi to someone. Talk to people. Only then will you be able to see if someone could be your friend. College is no fun without friends.

2. Have more than one set of friends.
It is nice to hang around with a friend(s) you are comfortable with. But don't limit yourself to just your circle of friends. It can get very boring. Also, it is nice to spend time with different kinds of people. College is the best time to discover yourself. You can understand what you like and don't if you spend time with different kinds of people. It is always helpful to be comfortable with a large set of people. You never know when you'll be forced to do a project with someone from outside your group.

3. Do your own projects!
Through college, you will have to do multiple projects each semester. Borrowing or buying a project could seem like an easy alternative especially when you have a ton of submissions with very little time. DO NOT do it. The amount of joy you get when you get something to work is immeasurable. You will struggle and curse when your code is not working (which is at least 70% of the time) but the 30% when it works, more than makes up for all the effort. Also, since most projects are team projects, it is a great way to bond with friends and learn to co-operate. These skills are essential when you start working. So, why not build on them when you can. Moreover, the amount you learn when you do a project, is no where close to what you do by reading a text book.

4. Travel.
If you are anything like me and enjoy sitting in front of the TV on a holiday rather than getting out and doing stuff, please take note of this point. This is a piece of advice, I hope someone had given me earlier. Traveling with friends is a completely different experience than traveling with parents. When you are with your friends, you learn to be responsible, take care of your things, manage your money, take decisions, etc. But at the same time, you have your friends who will help you if you need them to. It will help you gain confidence. Also, you gain experience by seeing how your friends react in different situations.

5. Set your rules and stick to them.
In continuation with the previous point, it is essential to identify your boundaries and stick to them irrespective of whether your friends approve of it or not. College is the ideal stage to find out what you think is right and what is wrong. You must learn to set your rules and stick to them. It could be simple things like not making fun of others behind their back, not smoking etc. Stick to your rules and beliefs and others will eventually respect you. You can always change your rules; but think before you do.

6. Talk to your teachers
Teachers can be helpful for a lot of reasons. Building a good rapport with teachers can help you identify which teacher you are comfortable with. You will need to select teachers as project guides, ask them to provide references when you apply for internships, higher studies etc. So knowing them (and letting them know you) can be very helpful.

7. Confide in an older person
Sometimes, you may be faced with situations where you don't know how to react. This applies especially if you live in a hostel. Being surrounded by the same set of people can get overwhelming sometimes. Keep in touch with an older person. It could be a friend, sibling or your parent. Sometimes, a new perspective is all it takes to get you out of a foul mood.

8. Don't over stress about exams
I don't think I need to mention this point as a tip. Doing badly in exams are such a recurring feature in college, that you automatically learn to take it in your stride. Try to keep up with the class average, maintain a decent GPA, but don't over stress about being the topper in every subject. I may be wrong about this, but from my experience, at the end of the course, people with exceptional GPAs didn't have much of an edge over people with above average GPAs.

9. Volunteer, participate
This should probably have been the first point. There are plenty of festivals, events that keep happening in colleges. Participate! Chances of winning are very few unless you are really good at something but don't let that stop you from participating. Also, become a volunteer in such events. It is a great way to make friends. Also, you learn a lot of stuff while doing so. A lot of people tend to stay at home or "chill out" with friends somewhere else. Don't do that! Be where all the action is happening. If nothing you'll have a bunch of cool pictures (and memories) that you will cherish later.

10. Explore careers
This is the ideal time to decide what you'd like to do after college. Talk to seniors, read about things that interest you and try your hand at different things. You will be better prepared to choose your career at the end of four years.

Most importantly, enjoy! :)